I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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