We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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