i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
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i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
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In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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