The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize