Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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