Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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