I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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