whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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