my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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