She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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