I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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