The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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