I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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