So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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