Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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