All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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