I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize