dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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