It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
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Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
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I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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