APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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