Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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