Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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