Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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