I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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