We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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