I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize