I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize