I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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