HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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