So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you made out with another girl for some wings
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize