I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize