I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize