What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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