I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Vodka?
Forever.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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