Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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