Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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