i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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