i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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