I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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