what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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