i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You're like the curious george of whores
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize