I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
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Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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