there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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