I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
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He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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