i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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