I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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