Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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