OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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