She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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