She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize